TOP TEN DIRTY TRICKS TO WIN ARGUMENTS IN A CHURCH SETTING

Each of them has the common feature ofshort-circuiting discussions without actually presenting arguments. This list is very old and contains some examples of ways that I have seen conversations ended in the distant past. How many of these have you seen? What others have you seen?

NUMBER 10: The Biblical Stretch
Find some principle in the Bible and construct an entire argument based on an obscure mapping between the subject at hand and the convenient principle. (One famous seminar leader has several good examples of this, perhaps the most notable of which was his mapping of Melody=spirit, Harmony=soul, rhythm=flesh which was used to prove that contemporary music styles will bring in demons and cause people to have uncontrollable sexual urges since everybody knows the flesh is evil.) If you promote arguments in this way you can prove nearly anything and your opponents will be left looking like they are arguing with God instead of your arguments

NUMBER 9: Take offense at everything!

"Are you accusing me of [some sin]!?!?!?"
"You’re not listening to me! I will repeat what I said!"
"Why are you so hostile?"

Your opponent (who probably did not even realize that he was your opponent) is now on the defensive, trying to mend fences that he did not really even break. Used to avoid entire topics that you don’t want to address.

NUMBER 8: Bring up old offenses later that you never thought worth mentioning before.

"Two years ago you said this and really hurt me, but I decided to ‘take it on the chin’."

Does this mean that the offense was never forgiven or that is is now un-forgiven again?

NUMBER 7: Making a defense proves you're guilty.

"Why do you feel like you need to defend it??"

Used after attacking someone else’s liberty in Christ that you can’t deal with. Deliberately put them on the defensive and then point out that they are on the defensive.

NUMBER 6: "You’re making it your God!"
Like number 7 but a direct acusation of rank idolatry. If you try to keep up any argument you prove you are just a poor pawn of Satan!

NUMBER 5: "But God blessed it when we did it before"
You can’t argue with success! (Even though there may be no biblical justification given or an argument like #10 above.) Known in secular circles as anecdotal evidence, it only is really successful in quack medicine, paranormal TV shows and in churches.

NUMBER 4: "But the souls are important!"
This or any other platitude (true or not) can be used to justify just about anything and it has the benefit of never having to even remotely address any points in the discussion. When you use this you can prove that you need the $10,000 neon cross tower or to have everybody conform to a particular style of dress or music or architecture, because the souls are important. Your opponents, if they disagree with you, must feel the way they do because they don’t care if people go to hell. "But the paint is still looking good! Why do we need to re-paint the sanctuary?" "The souls are important."

NUMBER 3: "You are in sin..."
Often this is even true, but whether it is or not, the real usage of this is sometimes just to justify not listening to the other person’s point of view (or even give them the benefit of the doubt) until they "repent" first. If the other person can be shown to be "in sin" you never have to compromise with them or consider their feelings.

Remember the cardinal rule of spiritual pride: rightness excuses lack of courtesy and even kindness!

NUMBER 2: Break into tears.
A real show-stopper. Now nobody would dare be such a cad as to buffet your poor tender soul with things like logic or correct biblical exegesis. Many women (and even some men) can terrorize an entire church with this technique and reduce useful communications to zero.

NUMBER 1: "God revealed it to me"
Maybe the ultimate, since it is totally unverifiable and gives an aura of divine revelation to your opinion, feeling or pronouncement. "Well, then - the discussion is closed. I wouldn’t want to argue with God!"